We took off for Denver on New Years Eve morning. Whew, flying to Denver with so much anticipation, not because of our kiddos, but with the fact that we would be starring reality in its face...slightly overwhelming.
The kiddos both did great on the plane and both Mike and I commented that that extra hour, typical of our flights to MN, really made a difference. Two hours was quick and easy as pie, as that last hour heading into Minnesota, seems to have us always trying to occupy the kiddos to keep them chill and mellow. So whew, flight done. We landed in Denver and I as we walked through the airport I looked at Mike and said “welcome home!” Guess the city of Seattle is still feeling like an extended vacation, on the other hand, it also feels like home.
Uncle Pat Pat picked us up at the airport and the whirl wind started. We grabbed lunch, headed to pick up the car we were using and went to drop our stuff off. I quick ran an grabbed some party supplies, food an a few baby essentials and then we were off to hit reality head on.
Our first stop was at Donny and Katie's house. Katie was spending her NYE with her family but wanted us to stop over so there we were. We walked into their house, all warm and cozy as it always is and were greeted by her family. After saying our quick hellos I went to see Katie who was in her room. What more can you do for a friend who is so completely devastated than wrap your arms around her, cry, and repeatedly say I'm so so so sorry, and cry some more. More so than that I wanted to be able to tell her it would all be “ok,” reassure her that life would soon “go back to normal.” and that this was all a really horrific bad dream. To be honest it looked like at any moment Donny would walk back through the door, minus all the flowers scattered throughout the house, his stuff was still in its normal places. Shoes by the front door, wallet and hat on his dresser, clothes in the closet, it was all waiting for him to get home, she was waiting for this to be a dream, damn reality is daunting. Again that instant I was confronted with the frailness of life and its uncertainty. We both kept saying this isn't right, it isn't fair. Katie's heart is broken and unlike a typical broken heart from a break up no amount of anything will fix this. Time will help her heal, but there is going to be a long road ahead of her. After composing myself, as the kiddos were with us, we left Katie’s room. I knew Mike was so nervous to see her and was very worried about what he was going to do or say. You know, in life, it is never fun seeing your partner in crime hurt so bad and not know how to “fix it for him either.” He too wrapped his arms around Katie and cried.
While we were there we were able to chat a bit, touch base on everything and make a plan for Katie and I to get out and grab coffee on Thursday. After spending spending a little over an hour with Katie and her family. We were then off to our 1st New Years Eve party at Bridget and Shenan's house. It was good to get to see some more close friends and family. We also got to see Auntie Lara or (Warda) and her shiny new ring. She and Uncle Pat Pat got engaged on Christmas Eve, it was all sparkly and new, and very very pretty. Thomas ran his show and really enjoyed playing with Pat and Shenan. Elin smiled away and hung out with the ladies talking, with all the new faces around, she was not letting her Mom out of arms reach.
After some time at the Duffy/Ganje's we were headed back to the Rocks house to ring in the New Year. We didn't want to be on the roads too late, plus we were all already exhausted from the long day of travel.
Once at the Rocks we tried to get the kids to stay sleeping, Thomas was game, Elin wasn't. So Elin watched the ball drop with us. It was her 1st NYE after all and she was ready to Party! Then Thomas took his turn and was awake from 1:30 am to 4 am-seriously-it was chaos! We all started 2013 off sleepy!
New Years Eve day we enjoyed a calm morning with the Rocks and then they headed up skiing and we headed over to some friends for football and chillaxin'. We wanted to get the kiddos a good nap, so we fed them, packed em' in the car and we drove. Shortly after we started our drive they were both sleeping and Mike and I could reminisce about Denver, life, family and Donny. We drove past our old house in Arvada. The house and neighborhood still look the same, but the Aspen trees have gotten much bigger. We then headed downtown an picked up some Protos's pizza, seriously there is no pizza like Protos! It is one of our favorites. We then drove past the Oxford where we were married. Before heading down to the Lien's in Highlands Ranch. Thomas was so excited and loved trying to keep up with Colton, who is just over a hear older than he is. He also liked playing with Carsyn and Elin was happy to be in the mix too. Elin and Auntie Lara also got in some good play time together.
Too quickly it was time to pack everyone up and head back to our "home" at the Rock's house. We stopped quick for dinner with Pat and Lara and then 5 minutes into our final drive both kids were sound asleep.
Wednesday, Mike had to go into work at the Denver Coca Cola office, so the kids and I were on our own. We heading to the zoo to meet Crystal and see all the animals. We had planned on meeting our friends Jess, Zander, and Leo, but they were stuck at home with the flu bug. Next time! I never pass up a chance at the zoo, although it was cold, the sun was shining and it was a great morning at the zoo. It was equally great to catch up with Crystal, as we missed her the last time we were in town, and have an extra hand with the kiddos. We saw lots of monkey action this morning at the zoo. The cutest thing was the little orangutan kissing his/her mama! Hard to not see the likeness in ourselves and monkeys! In fact, I totally related to the orangutan when the keeper said that next to humans, their attachment with mother/child is the next longest? He said they nurse for 2/3 years and then are with their mom very closely until at least age 6. I made the joke that that mama and I could compare stories! After lunch the wind picked up and we all decided it was cold and time to head home for naps.
After naps, which went through our scheduled play date with Angela and Audrey :-(, this is the hardest part for us about being in Denver. We pack so much in and try to see everyone and inevitably we miss people. It is hard but it happens and we always are bummed, but next time hopefully it will work out! Anywho, after nap we packed up and headed to Sushi Hai. This was a last minute impromptu dinner where if you could meet us great if not, no worries. Some could make it, others could not but we ended up having a good sized group. We ate, talked, and laughed. Best part of the night for me was having so many of our close friends together at one time. For a minute, both Mike and I were able to just enjoy Denver, and forget why we were really there. 
Watching Lilli and Thomas, run, giggle and dance together was tender and special. These two are really such great friends and after a year they just picked up without missing a beat...friendship at it’s finest.
Thursday we packed up at the Rock’s, Mike headed into work, and the kiddos and I went and spent the morning and afternoon with Katie. We went to her house and then walked to a coffee shop, where we met Bridget, and laughed, cried, and were just there for Katie. When we got back to her house, her Mom and Step Dad left to head back to their house to replenish their clothes and tend to the house. Katie, has had a wonderful network of family, who has minus 20 minutes been with her day and night since Donny died. She also had told me that being alone was the hardest part because that is when she would normally call him, and then it would hit her that she couldn’t again. Ugh, I just cannot imagine. Besides being present, I so wished that there was something more I could have done. Katie had a snuggly little chair for Thomas to lay and rest and watch cartoons. After the first 20 minutes, Thomas was shoes, pants and socks off comfy as he was at home and helping she and I by being such a great little guy. Katie and I looked at pictures and talked about their honeymoon to Hawaii and the life they were so excitedly planning together. A life that one day at a time she will continue to live for both of them. I tell you what, I don’t know how she is/was doing it, but she showed me what true strength and courage look like. To be respectful to her and her journey through the grief, I won’t post a lot of what we talked about while we were together. I do wish and hope that I never have to listen to a friend talk about any of this stuff until we are all much much older and grey, with many good years and memories behind us. Life, sometimes it is just uncertain and unfair. Thankfully, Katie’s faith, ours too, is strong and we know Donny is in a better place, but damn, she misses the love of her life and we miss our friend. 
Thursday also happened to be my 31st birthday. I received a lot of wonderful phone calls, texts, emails and facebook messages all were very much appreciated. Thursday evening we celebrated with dinner from Carmine’s On Penn (a favorite take out place by our old house in Wash Park) and topped it off with yummy ice cream cake complete with candles. It was a wonderful dinner with friends. After dinner while we were getting ready for bath time, we heard giggling come from the kitchen. 
We walked into see Thomas and his accomplice in crime in the kitchen licking off more frosting. Their giggles, the baths that ensued, dancing and running through the house and the complete joy that these little beings showed was a wonderful way to help close the evening. Mike and Tim headed off to hockey and Allison and I got the little ones to sleep. We then had 35 minutes to chill together while holding the little ones before Thomas had me back up. He was not feeling well and I couldn’t get him comfy until I pulled out the medicine. Boo, thankfully after a dose of Advil he slept until morning, but once again, the new germs in Colorado had him sneezing with a stuffy nose. After having breakfast and play time we then spent the rest of the morning doing kiddy yoga and letting the babes enjoy Studio Soma. It is always a highlight to see Thomas and Lilli together in that dance studio. It was fantastic to watch the two of them run together and play. Elin and Gabe also loved crawling and playing. Elin loved dancing and swaying to the music as well. 
Friday after breakfast, Mike had some work to do and a lunch scheduled with Reid and Dan. After Soma, Mike took 
Thomas to go for a nap ride and pick up Pat from the airport and Elin and I rested and napped back at the Bennet house. Then we made and had dinner again and before long, after much indecisiveness, we were off to a bar to meet some friends. It was a perfect place as their was a ski ball machine for Thomas to play while we caught up, reminisced, and celebrated Donny. 
It was a hard night out with friends, but a night we will always remember. After far too many games of ski ball for the little guy and possibly one too many beers for the big guy we headed home, holding hands a little tighter, tears flowing, talking some more about our memories. Humf, even writing this is taking me back to that moment, the streets the memories and the deep sense of loss that both Mike and I share.
Saturday morning we woke up, had breakfast, packed up and then the guys took Lilli and Thomas to the park while the little ones slept and I got ready. Then it was time for us to head to the church to formally say goodbye to our friend. Tim and Allison were kind enough to take care of Thomas while we were away. They did a great job of keeping him comfortable, getting him a nap, and then calming him down when he was upset that Mom and Dad were not there when he woke up. Thanks you two, so very very much. 
Elin came along with us and napped most of the service in her carrier. Katie reminded me of Jackie Kennedy with her stoic beauty while she carried the ashes of her husband to the alter. The priest who had married them 4 months prior officiated and was also moved to tears. Donny’s father and brother spoke and eulogized their son and brother. There was not a dry eye in the room and all of our hearts ached for our own personal loss and the loss of the others, mainly his wife, brother, and parents. As a bag piper played Irish hymns everyone drove away to one of Donny’s favorite bars, Earls, to celebrate his life. It was impossible for me to not have a flash back to watching Donny and Katie drive away, newly married, 4 months prior.
We were able to go to Earls without Thomas for a bit while he napped snuggled in with Tim. Half way into our first beer we got a call that he was up and not particularly happy. So we headed up to get him and say our “see you soon’s” to the Bennet family. Thomas and Lilli were both sad about leaving one another, as were we all. 
We hopefully will see them sooner rather than later! Then it was back to Earls and before long we headed over to Uncle Pat and Auntie Lara’s house. We then were going to go over to another buddies house, but ended up pulling the plug on that idea. We were all exhausted both emotionally and physically, so we decided that it was in the best interest of the kiddos to stay put. Thomas and Elin got some good time in with their cuzzy puppies Maggie and Andy and Uncle and Auntie. Before we knew it it was time to head to the airport and head back to Seattle.
Hard to say goodbye after such a heartbreaking loss. Hard to head back to Seattle like everything is normal. We both greatly miss Denver and all the family and friends who are like family that we have here.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
